”… men are more trusting than women, but women are more trustworthy than men” ~ Anonymous
This inconvenient truth has been exposed ~ that men dominate dishonesty. (Fortunately, we all know of many exceptions to this generalization, yet history and our personal experiences confirm its undeniable accuracy.) Simply examine our over-loaded prison system (84% men) and bottlenecked-courtrooms, to publicly observe us charging, and convicting each other every day, of various forms of dishonesty.
It is men who have repeatedly constructed Win-Lose contracts and laws, to bully their opponents into accepting inequitable relationship terms. Their ‘might-is-right’ negotiating style ferments distrust, having sentenced humanity to civilization-long cycles of combative relationships and endless wars. Wasn’t every promise, oath, vow, pledge and legal declaration, supposed to hold all parties accountable to mean what they say, and do what they’ve committed to do? Wasn’t that ‘walk-your-talk’ expectation to remain the corner stone of every agreement ever transacted?
Yet tragically, being honest has fallen out of favor. Reports of lying, cheating, racketeering, being intentionally deceptive, using alternative facts and manufacturing conspiracy theories, consume our news outlets and social media platforms. Such falsehoods have only served to reinforce the cynicism and mistrust of our predominantly male leaders and their ruling bodies. Unsurprisingly, during the Covid pandemic only 20% of Americans trusted the government to effectively manage the crisis. And our fears were confirmed as we earned the global distinction of being the worst country in the world to navigate both the virus’ public health crisis and economic toll.
Historically, men have solely defined and ruled over all family contracts (re: pre-nuptial, marriage, inheritance, divorce, child custody). So Patriarchy was easily proliferated by replicating the male-headed, authoritarian family model into all corporate, governmental, and organizational designs.
Considering men have proven themselves to be less even-handed and trustworthy than women, should they primarily be the ones negotiating agreements across families, corporations, governments and world organizations? Will this predominant leadership makeup ever break humanity’s divisive, litigious, and combative warring cycle, or simply serve to preserve it?
It’s possible America’s democratic experiment may not survive unless we infuse more women – valuing honesty, long-term and committed relationship building – into our leadership ranks. Fortunately, as more women become the heads of households (already 48.6 % today), businesses and governments, they’ll prefer to employ women because their personal experiences (and the Bureau of Justice Statistics) confirm, women are more trustworthy.
It’s also predictable with more women at the helm, we would reduce society’s extraordinary financial burden of reconstituting broken contracts, and avoid unimaginable emotional and physical hardships. Rather, we could invest our energies and resources on improving the quality and substance of all people’s lives (not just men’s). Even though this inconvenient truth has been made conscious, these desperately needed leadership changes will only occur if women TAKE their seats at the table and no longer WAIT for the men to seat us.
Read Janey’s article in the June issue of Sybil Magazine.